From McSweeney’s SELECTIONS FROM H.P. LOVECRAFT’S BRIEF TENURE AS A WHITMAN’S SAMPLER COPYWRITER:

Chocolate Cherry Cordial: You must not think me mad when I tell you what I found below the thin shell of chocolate used to disguise this bonbon’s true face. Yes! Hidden beneath its rich exterior is a hideously moist cherry cordial! What deranged architect could have engineered this non-Euclidean aberration? I dare not speculate.

Toffee Nugget: Few men dare ask the question, “What is toffee, exactly?” All those who have investigated this substance are now either dead or insane.

There are others as well and they are all outstanding. (ᔥAlex Wiltshire in a footnote of a rather excellent blog post which I don’t want to spoil here but is also to do with Lovecraft)