Many (private) assisted living facilities have started relying on 911 for lifting residents who have fallen down — a massive waste of (public) resources. WaPo asked one of the companies to comment:

Co-president Julie Simpkins declined to answer specific questions, but said in a statement that the company works “to create a collaborative approach to the over utilization of nonemergent lift assist calls” through “cross training, resource availability discussions and collaboration.”

An LLM would do a better job of deflecting than co-president Julie Simpkins, who seems to have proposed a collaborative approach through collaboration — embarrassing even by corporate-speak standards.

Of course, the problem is that firefighters don’t take money for their services, but in this particular case they may consider starting to invoice. After all, those same assisted living facilities charge their residents up to $7,000 per month for the privilege of laying on the floor until real adults come.